More Changes!

Hey guys... I'm sorry it has been sooo long since my last blog. However, there have been major changes in our lives. The first being that I have accepted a new position which allows me to be working as a social worker. I am now doing something worth doing. I have been trying to obtain this position for over a year and finally got the call!!!! So that's the first big change. The only bad thing about having this job is that we are no longer able to be foster parents. I know ...😩... So we have had to switch up our focus a little and are going to be working with an amazing adoption agency called Heart to Home which is based out of Lexington, KY. They have a branch located in Ashland, KY which is super convenient. We had our first visit today!!! As you can guess, we are super excited and ready for our journey to continue and am very confident that we will be parents soon.  

Our case worker is amazing she has gone through this process herself which is super comforting. We can't wait to meet our little bundle of joy! 

Changes!!!!

        Today, after a long break due to weather and schedule conflicts, we had our first set of classes to become foster parents. We learned so much and enjoyed learning about the other couples in the class. We shared many pictures of our pets and even saw a black snake outside. I think I showed a little too much of a reaction when everyone was gathering around the disgusting serpent but oh well. :) Anyway, we covered three sections of information regarding bio rights, definitions of things we may see in paperwork (such as tpr= termination of parental rights), and situations that some of these kids may have been through. We were given the opportunity to ask questions throughout the whole process. We learned that NECCO handles many types of situations such as theraputic foster care, foster with intention of adoption, as well as private adoption. 

      Which brings me to the second thing I wanted to let everyone know. Mind you nothing is definite as of yet and nothing may come from this however I feel that I should share with everyone. There may be a situation unfolding that could potentially change our lives as well as this child's. We are very hopefull that this situation goes as planned and that one day soon we can blog about this situation in more detail. As for right now I would like that thank everyone who has been there for us in more ways than one. Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers as all of this unfolds. There is a clear line of sight to the finish line, of potentially the first half of the race. Again I am so thankful for the friends and family that I have who are extremely supportive of my husband and I. You all have seen the struggle that we have been though and are still going through and have expressed your support so I just want to thank you!!!!!!! I will try to keep you guys posted regarding how everything pans out. 

Surrogacy: The Old Fashioned Way

I was asked about surrogacy and the costs that are associated with this process. The official start is to contact a surrogacy lawyer to draw up the agreement. After that is done you move on to finding either an agency or a surrogate without an agency. You find out the terms at which they require and "negotiate" where both parties agree. Then you move on to treatments. Then the baby comes soon after. Seems super simple and easy. In our person experience we cannot afford an agency as well as other large fees that go along with that route. We started to look at finding our own surrogate. So I signed up for a profile on findsurrogatemother.com which has a lot of women looking to be a surrogate. Some who haven't been on the site in years some who are very active on the site. Your profile is open to everyone and people will contact you regarding being your surrogate or wanting you to apply for their agency... There are a lot of scams and a lot of people who really are there for surrogacy. Compensation is always a number one topic in starting negotiations... Why waste time right.... The process is very much like buying a car... You find the one you like and then you talk money... It's very cut and dry or at least most of the time. Below are screen caps of a conversation I had with a women who reached out to me. She really seemed like she wanted to help. I'll let you be the judge of exactly how helpful she is (enjoy):

       

Soooo .... I'm pretty sure she was propositioning me for adult activities for money and the added bonus was a child.... This is the things people need to lookout for. Some people may not have the common sense to know that this is an odd situation and would probably take her up on this offer due to their emotional state. I hope that this is just a funny situation and she is not really trying to do this with anyone... Anyway....lol.... Others have reached out to me however the least compensation that someone was asking was 20 thousand, still I'd rather use this money to provide for a child. 

Update: Hurry up and Wait

Hey guys haven't posted in a while, Sorry... But there really hasn't been any progress. The weather and our work schedule have caused some delays in the classes, which sucks, but we are still trucking along... So I have contacted them to try and set up the classes a couple times to try and get the ball rolling... Oh and just kind of doing a little research and from a little hear-say ( I know I shouldn't go on hear-say but it's hard not to do when you're going into something you haven't done or have no clue about) this agancy seems to get older children. I know that statement might be harsh for some and I'll explain why I say this. Zach and I are looking to foster to adopt a younger child. Our reasoning behind this is that we are a young couple and had we had children, even at a young age, our child would still only be young. Plus we would like for our child to be around the same age as our friends children so they can play and enjoy being a child. Having a Psychology degree really makes you think about developmental milestones. So with all of this we have decided that our age range would be 0-3 but would be open to 0-6. We understand that there are many older children in the system and trust me I would love to help them all if I could and maybe in the future we could but for now our best option is to go with the age we we have chosen. This process is extremely difficult mentally. It's a hurry up and wait type of situation which is aggravating but we are staying positive and trying not to expect too much to fast. So with all of this being said we would like to thank you all for keeping up with our jouney!!!!! It means so much to us.... I will be posting more either when things happen or if I think of something that I want to share !!! Also if you have any questions or suggestions we would be more than happy to answer them or talk about your suggestion....😄

I also would like to thank everyone for the outpouring of support. We have received so many good comments and uplifting remarks that it makes the wait less unbearable. I have to be honest, I said I would be an open book when I started this blog, we have received some negative reactions from all of this. Some people have Their opinions regarding Their beliefs about what is right or wrong. I was well aware that this would happen so for the sake of the blog I am mentioning it, otherwise I wouldn't give Their comments the time of day. Everyone has beliefs and the abilty to express said beliefs. Just as i do, yet I choose to let people do what they want because I have zero right to say what anyone does with Their life and the same goes for my life. 

Consultation Update:

SOOOOO!!!!!! We had the consultation today and had the social worker come out to the house. He was extremely honest and open about the whole process. He showed up promptly and helped us with most of the paper work, which was a lot. The list of all of the things that have to be done includes: Financial Statement, Medical Exam (physical), Personal References, Marriage Certificate, Proof of Current Homeowners insurance, Proof of Current Automobile Insurance, Animal Inoculations, Driver's License, Background Check (fingerprints), and then 30 hrs of classes. The classes can be started at any point in time so ASAP.  We are beyond excited and ready to continue our journey to parenthood. This is a long over due process !!!!! Thanks for keeping up with our little blog. I will continue to update everyone along the way.

Update:

Today was the day the social worker was to come to the house to have the consultation. We woke up all excited and looked out the window and SNOW!!! Blah... I waited till the time and called the agency, which answered promptly :), turns out her meeting had run long and didn't have our number to inform us of this plus our hill is covered in snow and could be an issue. No problem. We rescheduled for next Tuesday which happened to be her day off soooo a worker named David will be coming to the house for the consultation. So updates will be provided as these steps are achieved. Or if obstacles present themselves. Thanks for  keeping up with our journey where 2 Become 3!!!!

Our Journey

It Starts......

         Hi, and welcome to my blog! My name is Justin, and we can start with a little backstory. Our journey began 6 1/2 years ago. Zach and I met randomly and have been best friends since. We have spent every moment by each others sides. We got engaged after a year of dating and were married March 19th, 2013 in Central Park, New York City. We have wanted to start a family for several years and have gone through several different possibilities: surrogacy, adoption, and foster care. Our journey is just beginning and I'll be blogging the whole time, giving updates and sharing my thoughts and feelings along the way. We are super excited to become a family.  Welcome to our journey!

         Today I scheduled a meeting with NECCO for a home meeting and we cannot be more excited. This is the first real step in the right direction. We will need to start classes and get a home-study done and then begin the long (or short!) wait for a child. We have spoken with the state agency to take these classes however they don't work around your schedule at all. They offer the classes on certain days and that's it. We had an issue with how they handled the classes as well. We signed up and then waited for the packet she said she would be sending. Weeks later we received a letter in the mail with few words which included the date of the classes which started the very next day. We had zero time to prepare or change work schedules. So at this point we felt that there were no other options for us but we continued to try other options. We have signed up for a profile on findsurrogatemother.com which was defeating. Many "helpful" women reach out to you and want to help however in our current financial situation we are unable to afford the $20 to $50 thousand dollar compensation fees these women are asking. We have also looked into private adoption agencies. These places also have very large fees. It's not that I'm cheap and don't think these children are worth paying the fees for; I would rather put the thousands of dollars towards giving our child the things they need as well as what they want. This blog is to document our journey in hopes of one day our child will read it and realize how much he/she was wanted. It is also intended for people who are going through the same situations and for people who have gone through the same situation who can shed light on this momentous journey. Thanks again and welcome to our Journey.